You're all getting one!

I have a wonderful, very classy, award winning, cell phone; It has platinum accents, a large 100-million color screen with 3D effects, titanium buttons that are touch sensitive and electroluminescent, a 20.1 mega pixel camera that takes National Geographic-looking photos, which also comes with 400 National Geographic/Discovery pictures for wallpaper, which isn't much for the 1 Terabyte of onboard memory it includes. It can be a flip phone or a candy bar-style phone, depending on your mood. FCC requires that all phones be equipped with GPS, but this phone goes even further, providing you with a GPS navigation system so you will not get lost! It holds 1 billion contacts that are automatically added via voice command, synchronization of your contacts on Yahoo, AOL, MSN, and Google, and of course, manual entry.

This phone also has a nifty feature that “Knows” if you are holding the phone because of tiny sensors on the side, providing the user with no false calls to other people by accidentally touching the keys or voice commands that you use in regular conversations with people. You can watch videos on the phones of course. High quality high definition videos and comes with 200 videos that can be downloaded in 10 seconds per video. They simply look amazing on the 5 inch 100-million color screen with 3D effects! Last and certainly not least it has a smart ring feature that automatically rings a different way, according to your mood and environment. It comes programmed with 1000 high quality MP3 songs based on the users retinal scan it takes with the 20.1 mega pixel camera while setting up the phone and automatically downloads those songs in 1.5 minutes because of the new wireless broadband feature your phone has.

Oh, and I forgot to mention that the color of the phone dynamically changes to fit your attire. The price of the phone retails for a quarter of a million dollars and ships from a small place in China after receiving parts from Japan, Europe, Alaska, Africa, Antarctica, Brazil, New York, California, and West Virginia. Shipping and handling is usually an additional 400 dollars, but you know what.....

YOU ARE GETTING ONE!!!!!

Please contact me no later than 5pm on January 8th 2010 to receive your new phone. It can also be delivered by your choice of actor or actress to your front door step for free! Just in time for the holidays! Enjoy!