This is Gwen, my wonderful X-Girlfriend. That's right-X being the key word here.After about 8 months, Gwen and I have decided to part our ways. Not to worry, we ended on good terms, but still sad, nonetheless.
I like like to think positive though...
1 comment:
This makes me sad... :-( I feel bad. I just feel like this is all my fault. I feel like I picked the worst week in your semester to give you a hard time about spending time with me. I just feel like every relationship has there ups and downs and I just keep wondering if I made the right decision or not. I just feel like I feel worse without you than I did with being with you and it breaks my heart to feel that way. I guess I'm just really at a stage in my life where all I see are couples and people that are in love and I want that too. I just feel bad b/c I just wonder what would have happened if I had never called you and brought up the thoughts running through my mind. I just feel like if I had waited until the summer we would have had a little more time on our hands for each other. I guess the reason I feel this way is because I tend to second guess myself a lot. I just don't know whether I'm going or coming sometimes...lol. But I just keep praying to God b/c without Him I don't know where I would be or what I would be doing. I just keep asking Him for His guidance b/c I really don't know what I want...well, I know, but I don't know if it's what God wants for me right now. And I think I just answered myself in this comment to you...I just realized that if God didn't want me to make that phone call He wouldn't have let me make it...He knows what He is doing, He knows what's right for me, and He knows what He wants for me. But now having said that I wonder about my typing this comment to you...He knew that at some point I would be doing this...I'm just confusing myself even more. Now, through this comment you can see how confused I am (and I tend to get this way a lot...can you imagine..lol) Well, I've probably just confused you more than I've confused myself...sorry...but I just started to rambling and couldn't stop. When I saw the picture and what you wrote, I just almost started to cry b/c I felt so bad/sad...but I held out..just to let you know...partly b/c my roommate is trying to study and I need to be studying so if I start to cry, I wont be able to study b/c I'll get a headache and go to sleep then I'll fail my test and end up dropping out of school (I got that from you ;-) lol) Well, now that I have said all of that and I still don't even know what the whole point of it was...I guess I just want to say is that this is a lot harder than I thought it would be...breaking up that is...I really do still miss you. When I called you, I was fine and I was mentally prepared for whatever happened, but now I'm finding that I forgot to prepare myself emotionally and that's my problem lots of the time. I tend to forget that my emotions run wild and they tend to get the best of me...I guess that's both a good and bad thing...lol...all in how you look at it. Well, I'm going to go study now that I've taken like a 30 minute break to sit her and write this, think, and reflect...lol. Well, I have no idea how you are going to respond to this...you might end up sounding a little crazy like me...I hope not b/c a crazy person trying to read what another crazy person wrote is not always a good thing...lol. Good luck with your studies...knock 'em dead kido! ttyl! ;-) P.S....I'm not anonymous...I'm the X, Gwen! lol...just thought I would let you know just in case you didn't know who this was...lol...goodnight!
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